So, I鈥檓 not a first-year student anymore. Stating this a month into the school year feels a little easier than it did the day I got back to campus, but it鈥檚 definitely an idea I鈥檓 still getting used to. I have some tricky grounds to cover in my second year before I can say that I鈥檓 鈥渟ettled鈥 back into 91直播 as a lifestyle. I鈥檓 learning to be okay with that.
I鈥檇 say my first year felt a lot like a rollercoaster. Like one of the ones you spend hours waiting for, agonizing over every expected loop and flip upside down just to have it all woosh by in seconds. But I always took comfort in knowing that this was expected. When the first semester felt like it had lasted two weeks and I was panicking over how rapidly my life seemed to be passing all of a sudden, I remembered that this was something everyone in my position could relate to. Of course there were times I felt a little overwhelmed or like other people didn鈥檛 seem as timid as I often felt, that鈥檚 just the way it goes! But now, if I ever get these feelings of doubt or uncertainty, I have to wonder if they're always going to be there.
This time last year, I had no idea what to do with myself. I went constantly between the ever-pressing urge to lie in my room napping all day and the meet-everyone-because-if-you-don鈥檛-now-you鈥檒l-remain-forever-alone mindset (a bit dramatic, as I can happily admit now). I think I ended up with a good balance of both, and that鈥檚 what I鈥檓 trying my best to remember this year.
To a certain extent, things have calmed down much more than I anticipated them to. I finally understand the idea that first-year students are bundles of nervous, excited energy that Sophomores can lazily roll their eyes at from the comfort of their fomo-free nights in. I understand it, but I don鈥檛 necessarily feel as distant from the first-year anxiety as I thought I would. In this weird limbo period, I feel like an outsider watching both groups and wondering where and when I鈥檓 going to fit back into one of these ways of thinking. And that鈥檚 as annoying as it is rewarding.
My first instinct after realizing I鈥檓 not necessarily having the stereotypical Sophomore experience was to become annoyed at the whole system of natural college-type evolutions. When am I finally going to feel at peace with where I鈥檝e landed in the vast sea of college shenanigans?
But then I considered something: there鈥檚 a first time for everything.
How about a first second time around?
What I鈥檝e come to realize is that every milestone I experience here is a new one. Whether it be declaring my major, entering into a new form of housing, becoming a part of new clubs, or discovering events and activities I didn鈥檛 know about previously, there are always going to be things to be introduced to. 鈥淢ilestones鈥 (like entering a new year or semester) work the same way.
It鈥檚 my first time going through my second year! And only time (hopefully)! I should enjoy it! Even if there鈥檚 an idea of the typical 鈥渨ay鈥 or 鈥減rocess鈥 of experiencing life at college, it鈥檚 important to remember that everyone鈥檚 time here is spent doing and seeing completely different things. With a variety of experiences come different reactions to them, and that鈥檚 part of what makes it so worth it. I鈥檓 glad I鈥檓 still figuring out what I want to do here and it鈥檚 actually reassuring now to know that I鈥檓 not completely comfortable all the time 鈥 if I was, I know I wouldn鈥檛 be going through all the exciting things I鈥檓 met with each day. There鈥檚 something to be said about the uncertainty novelty brings us. It鈥檚 worth the risk and unpredictability. Even as a Sophomore.
