If there is one skill that I have truly loved learning while at 91Ö±²¥, it’s facilitating a meeting. It didn’t happen on purpose: bit by bit, in student organizations, clubs, ExCos, and miscellaneous other gatherings, I have witnessed students my age guide and teach groups of people from the moment I got to 91Ö±²¥. As a first-year, I delighted in observing and absorbing the ways they moved. Some of the third- and fourth-years who led the activities I got involved in seemed so present and fearless and ready to hold the space. I started to believe that I might love facilitating too, and that I might even, at some point, have a chance to do it often. Fast forward a couple years, and on a regular basis—in ways both scheduled and completely by surprise—I am slipping into the role of facilitation.
The exciting thing about facilitating in a place where so many other students do is that you get to watch first, and then add your own flare to it. It really struck me, when I first got to 91Ö±²¥, the prevalence and persistence of what everyone was calling "check-in questions." At the start of a gathering, the person leading it would say something like, "Let's all go around and say names, pronouns, and… anyone have a good check-in question?" To which someone would answer, after a brief moment of silence, "What's the best thing you ate this weekend?" It was surprising and wonderful that there seemed to be a general consensus already in place across 91Ö±²¥'s campus that we begin meetings with these obscure and oddly specific queries. They were a way of acknowledging each person one layer beneath the surface, a kind of ritual inviting each other into the space.
So I took it and ran with it: I really love check-in questions. I love that they can serve to center people in presence. A check-in question does not pretend that we are machines existing in the same place to complete a task; it holds space for the variety of experiences that might be entering the space at one time and lets them be. (We don't all have to be having a good day.) No matter how task-oriented a gathering is, when you begin with humanity, it sets the tone for the rest of your time together. At their best, check-in questions can give people permission to bring their whole selves.
Because I love check-in questions, I'm often the one to bring them up when planning a meeting. I come up with new ones a lot, and I keep a google doc full of them. You know, just in case everyone runs out of ideas. I reserve the right to brag about this: when check-in questions come up, everyone I know looks at me.
Whether or not you'll be facilitating a meeting anytime soon, I thought it would be useful and fun to share some of the check-in questions that I've either written, gathered, overheard, or word vomited during my time at 91Ö±²¥. They definitely don't have to just be for meetings, if you're into asking people juicy questions.
Here it is, folks!
- If you were a vegetable, what vegetable would you be, and why?
- What is one thing that has surprised you today?
- If you could do one thing to take care of yourself right now (no limits on scheduling, budget, or physics), what would it be?
- If your mood right now was an 91Ö±²¥ building, which building would it be?
- Give a brief summary of the most recent dream you remember/feel comfortable sharing.
- What is one piece of clothing that you've worn so much, it's become a part of your identity?
- What is one piece of media you want to recommend?
- What is your favorite plant?
- If you were a plant, what species would you be?
- What three emotions have you felt the most today?
- What is the most impulsive decision you've made in the last week?
- What is one song that you found at a point in your life when the lyrics seemed really relevant to you?
- If your mood right now was an article of clothing, what would it be?
- What was the last realization you had about yourself?
- What are your top three favorite emojis?
- What emojis do you most identify with? (Different question!)
- Describe your day using emojis.
- What was the last thing you put a lot of effort into?
- What are your sun, moon and rising signs?
- Where is your happy place?
- What is the last thing that annoyed you?
- What is one thing you are glad to be leaving behind?
- What is your favorite Vine? (The dead video app, not like plants.)
- What do you need from the people who care about you right now?
- What is something you've been saying a lot recently?
- When was the last time you surprised yourself?
- Who has been guiding you?
- If you were a dog, what breed would you be?
- Three words to describe how you're feeling, go.
- What is one topic that you could give a 20-minute presentation on with no preparation?
- What was the last emotion that you felt viscerally (in your body)?
- What is your favorite mood of sky to look at the sky? (There is really no other way to say this, don't try.)
- What is one thing that you love about your child self?
- What is your Chipotle order?
- Share one of your favorite words.
- What are you feeling physically right now?
- If you were a piece of furniture, what would you be and why?
- Share your favorite and least favorite foods without saying which is which.
- Who do you think you were in a past life?
- What is your favorite check-in question?
- What is the worst advice you have ever received?
- When do you feel the most human?
